“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?”

This popped up in a Facebook memory today for 2018. I love when a good story shows up in my memories that I had forgotten all about. God is ALWAYS faithful.

I went to bed last night defeated, overwhelmed, unambitious, complacent and so so tired. Ben said, “well do you trust God or don’t you?” Honestly? I didn’t. It had been over a week of one inconvenience, problem or disaster after another. Yes. God’s good…all the time!
..but I felt I had somehow fallen out of the scope of His vision for now. I was on my own and had to deal with the mess on my own.

I woke up this morning and said God, I’m done looking at the problems, I’m looking at you. A few hours later someone obeyed God in a really big, faith stretching way and blessed our family. I’ve had God tell me a few times to do something but I’ve never been the one to hear “God told me to do this.” He has ALWAYS come through one way or another and I have been so blessed by so many people, but this was specific. This was an undenyable finger of mercy pointed in my face from someone who had no clue a need existed beyond what God told them.

Tonight I’m at peace. I’m excited. I’m reminded that He is watching me, caring for me, is intimately acquainted with my every need and that there is nothing beyond the scope of His power. My faith is reignited and I have hope. I’m also convicted and have a vivid reminder of how petty I can be. My words, my actions, my attitudes…P.E.T. T.Y. This is God that I doubt sometimes. Not my neighbor, friend or husband…GOD. Who do I think I am? I’m reminded of God’s response to Job. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!” I need to go on ahead and get over myself. Haha.

Giving was always fun and exciting (almost always) but after being a recipient and seeing the other side of this thing….I CANNOT WAIT for an opportunity to obey God again. What he asks of me or you might stretch our faith but He’s using it to build another’s in ways we never imagined.

Pace

“After this weekend things should slow down a bit.”

I’ve said this for years. Even my older kids call me out on it now. To be honest, I’m really sick of saying it. It is so hard to budget space into life these days.

Homeschooling, work, church, side jobs, home repairs, home admin, birthdays, sleepless nights with a baby, heck even just the laundry….everything seems to be a neverending to do list require the pace of an Olympian to accomplish. But even an Olympian budgets rest somewhere right?

I use the term budget sincerely. Our time, like our money, is going to go somewhere and if we don’t tell it where to go, we lose it. Some days I find myself spending more time looking at what needs to be done than actually doing anything. I imagine the exhaustion ahead, staring wide eyed into a day full of tasks that seem impossible. All the while the minutes tick by.

I don’t ‘worry’ about tomorrow too often. I’ve lived through quite a few today’s and seen God’s provision, strength and care show up in plenty. I don’t doubt for a second that He will do it again tomorrow and today too!

Occasionally though, I look at the week, internally scream, determine I’m becoming a hermit, living of the land, foraging for our next meal and everyone is getting two changes of clothing each for the remainder of their lives. Then I realize that gopher stew doesn’t sound all that appealing, foraging is hard, as is isolation and I actually like clothes, so that’s all out.

The song “One day at a time” brings a little comfort and a good reminder.

"I'm only human.
I'm just a woman. 
Lord help me believe in what I could be and all that I am. 
Show me the stairway. 
That I need to climb. 
And Lord for my sake 
help me to take 
just one day at a time.   

One day at a time sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you.
Just give me the strength 
to do everyday 
what I need to do. 
Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus 
and tomorrow may never be mine. God help me today, 
show me the way, 
one day at a time."

Listen to it https://youtu.be/H2ceLwudqqg

One thing my mom told me years ago is “rest is a state of mind.” She’s right. You can be extremely busy and still in a mindset of rest. I practiced this with my kids. I declared a mid week day of rest. We still did chores but we made it a point to maintain our peace and not allow anything to stress us out. To slow down and take time to be aware of our time, the rest available to us and our state of mind.

So, “after this weekend things will slow down a bit.” And eventually they will. Until then, while I’m in this busy season of child rearing and life – Lord Jesus, help me to walk in the rest that’s available from You today. Amen.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matt 11:28-30